Day seven: Phuket adventure – writing this post a week late

I’m apologizing in advance for the next two posts. It’s been over a week since I’ve returned home but I’m determined to finish writing about this holiday!

Even the best laid plans can go awry but not always for the worse. The intended plan was to take the free shuttle to Patong beach and then go zorbing at 2pm. After that we would have gone to see Simon’s Cabaret – the iconic lady boy show in Phuket.

None of these things happened.

We were all still feeling fairly crook and once we got to Jungceylon shopping centre on Patong, we decided none of us were in any condition to zorb. Somehow, we came up with the idea of going to see a movie instead!

The movie cost us 140THB each which is less than $5AUD. The popcorn was delicious – cheese flavoured was the best. We decided to see The Dark Knight Rises and it ended up being a great call by the team. The movie didn’t finish until about 6pm and by that stage, I don’t think we would have made Simon’s.

Instead we went shopping and then had dinner, the first non-Thai dinner all trip, and decided to hit a bar. Now, Bangala road is infamous in Phuket. It’s the best and worst thing about Patong, I’d say. I don’t enjoy the crowded, loud, dirty feel of it all but it’s just something that needs to be done! I thought it would be good to head that way as there are a ton of bars and, of course, lady boys!

We got to watch a lady boy show that night at Moulin Rose. The production value was obviously not as high as Simon’s but damn! The ladies were HOT. Most of them anyway. One looked like Rihanna and our favourite of the night did a Whitney Houston and Beyond number and she was AMAZING! Absolutely bangin’ and was so sassy!

Once the show was over, one of them ended up chatting to us and let us touch her boobs and skin. So soft… She even took us back stage to let us see the costumes and meet the other girls. S and I ended up dancing with her on the bar. Alcohol and I always seems to land me on some kind of elevated surface dancing like an idiot…

We went to dance at Hollywood and there was no cover charge! Always a plus. The thing about going out to these bars is that most of the guys are looking for a sure thing. In a bar full of local Thai girls and being discriminating Westerners, who do you think they’d talk to? But it was all good! We danced our asses off until S wasn’t feeling well from the heat and previous illness. It was time to go home.

The cab ride cost us 900THB from Patong to Nai Yang which is what we were told. I tried bargaining but we were all so tired, we just wanted to get home asap.

The opening ceremony was on when we got back so Maggatron, Mushy Bee and I squished into a bed to watch it. One by one we drifted off, exhausted from a day of relative nothingness but after the week we’ve had, I was glad to be in bed sleeping.

(We ended up having the same song stuck in our heads for the rest of the trip – zous bisou bison – and it’s still in my head.)

So many adventures to be had!

I did say that this wouldn’t be a blog solely dedicated to my new flat (I’ve decided to call it a flat.  Apartment doesn’t sound right).  The great love of my life (one of anyway) is travelling.  So I thought we’d take it back a bit, chill out and talk about THAILAND.

As mentioned in a previous post, on the 21st of July, I’ll finally be on a plane to Thailand for a very much needed holiday away from the dreary -Melbourne weather and all those little pain-in-the-ass trials that this lovely thing called “life” likes to throw our way.  I’ve been to Thailand a few times in the past and have always enjoyed it.  Along with Malaysia, I rate it very highly on my “places to go in Asia” list.  It’s no-fuss, fun and affordable.

My travel companions have never been to Thailand before, let alone Phuket, so I took it upon myself to suggest some activities we should do in amongst all the relaxing and cocktailing and general merrymaking we’ll be doing.  Some of these things I have done, but most of them will be a new experience for me too which I’m really excited about.  So here goes – our finalised itinerary for Phuket, Thailand.

White Water Rafting and Elephant Trekking in Phang Nga
Not only do we get to ride elephants, which I have always loved, and go on an awesome water adventure, we get some time to visit a waterfall where we can swim around for a bit.  At least, from the description, that’s what it sounds like!  I love a bit of adrenaline and outdoors-ey fun so I can’t wait for this one.  At 3000 baht per person (around $100AUD), with snacks, drinks and return trips to our hotel (which is hard to come by because we’re about 40 minutes from Patong beach.  Most tours charge extra for that.), it’s a pretty decent price.

   

http://www.phuket-travel.com./water_ac/index-rafting.htm

Splash Jungle Water Park
A water theme park!  WATER THEME PARK.  My favourite kind of theme parks are the water variety so as soon as one my travel companions found this one, it was an immediate yes from me! There’s one particular ride that caught my eye called the Boomerango (how fitting that an Aussie wants to go on a ride called the Boomerango).  The website says: one of Splash Jungle’s star attraction offering a combination of thrilling sensations. Rider in an inner-tube start with a step drop down then are propelled high up a vertical wall. Then a reversed free fall a accelerates riders over a 15 metre high transition bump and into a splashdown pool.

Vertical.  Wall.  Can’t wait!  Entrance is 1295 baht (less than $45AUD) and there’s a bus that can pick us up from our beach and drop us off.  It’s not too far from Nai Yang so that’ll be a good day – super fun but not too intense.

http://www.splashjunglewaterpark.com/feature.html

Hong Kayaking by Starlight
Exploring caves on a kayak during lunch and at night.  It sounded amazing so I was quick to suggest it.  I’m not entirely sure what “Hong” is and Google has been about as helpful as a monkey with a trombone.  If someone would like to let me know, that would be awesome.  We also get a seafood dinner once we’ve finished exploring and, again, free return trip to our hotel.  I expect this to be an amazing and beautiful experience with nature – something I think is important to do even just a little bit when in a different country.  Heck, even in your own country!

   

This was the most expensive tour but at 3950 baht (less than $135AUD), it’s still not too bad.  We get dinner and transportation, plus a great story to tell people back home.

Koh Phi Phi Island Express Cruiser
Now I’ve done this Phi Phi Island tour before except I did the speedboat one.  Anyone who has been on speedboat out in ocean waters will know it is a crazy ride.  Like, fly out of seat-constant bumping crazy ride.  The last time I went on it, one of my friends had to take a different boat home because she was so violently ill.  Even I, with a stomach of steel, felt a teensy weensy bit unsettled on this ride.  So with that in mind, and knowing how well my friends deal with boats (one friend anyway), I had to track down a Phi Phi Island tour that involved NO SPEEDBOATS.  And after much searching and many transportation surcharge fees, I managed to find one that not only went to all the places that we need to go, but charged only 200 baht extra for transportation.  That’s still cheaper than the other options out there!

I hope we get to stay at Maya Bay for a little bit to enjoy the beach there but I have a feeling we’ll only get to have a look.  We get to swim and snorkel at Coral Bay though so that will be great for everyone.  Maya Bay is just so iconically “Thailand”, I just wanted my friends and I to take that cliched Maya Bay photo all us tourists take.

      

1200 baht ($40AUD including transportation from our hotel) and lunch.  I love food.  I especially love Thai food.  So any included meals is a super big A+ for me.

http://www.phuket-trips.com/phi-phi-cruiser.htm

Rollerball
I’ve always seen this “Zorb” thing in New Zealand and have always wanted to try it.  Considering the only time I’ve been to New Zealand has been with my parents, safe to say we did not engage in any “zorbing”.  But now I can.  A couple of minutes from Patong, we decided to use this as an excuse to go to Patong, do the Rollerball, see Simon’s Cabaret (next dot point) and then hit the nightlife scene.  I know it’s hideously touristy and disgustingly trashy but this is their first time in Phuket – they have to experience the glory AND the gory!  It’ll set us back 950 baht (less than $35AUD) and up to four people per ball but I think we’ll just split into two.  HOWEVER, we were very adamant on getting into filming things so maybe having all of us in one ball will make for greater footage for our final “Phuket trip” video.  I’ll be sure to post it for all of y’all.

Just out of curiosity, why would you need a life jacket in there?!  The water looks like it’s about 10cm deep?!  Anyway, if you can, YouTube “zorbing”.  Apart from looking like you’re being birthed, it looks like epic fun.  Why WOULDN’T you want to try it?!

Simon’s Cabaret
And finally, Simon’s Cabaret.  A Phuket institution celebrating what we all know and joke about when we hear the word “Thailand” – lady boys.  You can’t go to Phuket and not see Simon’s Cabaret especially if you’re not game for a Ping Pong show (which I still haven’t done… yet have done Simon’s Cabaret a few times).  It’s pretty much just lip-syncing lady boys but man, they are convincing!  Not only in the lip syncing but as women!  You wouldn’t believe some were men previously.  But most of them have “man” qualities.  It’s amusing and entertaining – for me anyway.  Plus, these tickets came free when we booked one of our tours so really, no excuses!  It’s fair enough some people wouldn’t want to pay to see something like this (my aunt didn’t overly enjoy it – maybe she was expecting something more wild?) but I think it’s cute and did I mention it was free??

   

It’s a little depressing that these former-men have better female bodies than I do as a born-female.

http://www.phuket-simoncabaret.com

And there we have it.  An eventful but what I’m hoping will be a relaxing trip away.  Time to unwind.   Time to laugh and smile; and live fully and fearlessly with some of the most important people in my life.  To reunite with a sorely missed and dear friend.  To remind myself that this is all worth it somehow.  That it’s not all dreary, grey Melbourne winters.  That eventually, there’s a sunny, warm Phuket beach waiting for me at the end.  And after working hard, crying hard and falling hard, that’s definitely something to look forward to.